


Face Yourself

by hawkstout



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universes, Angst, Gen, Mentions of Character Death, New 52, Parallel Universes, Pre-52, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-31
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 12:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/824481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawkstout/pseuds/hawkstout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the death of Damian Wayne Dick Grayson is driven over the edge. He's become a killer and the only one that can stop him is... Dick Grayson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Face Yourself

**Author's Note:**

  * For [katemonsterx3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/katemonsterx3/gifts).



> This has a proper beginning now done by the wonderful Katemonsterx3 who's plot and ideas inspired this section, go read this one instead! 
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/852396

“I was waiting,” Nightwing said softly into the darkness, the sound of a flapping cape the only indication he was no longer alone. They were thousands of feet up, both at perfect ease. The top of Old Wayne Tower, the top of Gotham. 

“Waiting for what?” Batman blended perfectly with the gargoyles. The welcoming guardians. He stood solid and calm. 

“For you, Batman,” Nightwing shrugged. He had a smile on his face that was a throwback to happier times. “With all the crazy things that go on it was bound to happen eventually. Time Travel, Alternate Dimension, Magic. Batman would always come back to Gotham one day. But you’re the wrong one.” 

He sounded a bit sad as he turned and faced himself.

“I’m exactly the right Batman for the job,” Dick Grayson unfastened his cape letting it fly off in a strong gust of wind. The cape would only slow him down. He was facing a younger version of himself, faster, less old injuries. After a moment’s hesitation he pulled off the cowl as well. 

Nightwing laughed, “I always hated that cape.” 

“Me too,” Batman agreed. 

“You know what’s not fair?” Nightwing asked. He was slowly approaching and Batman brought up his guard.

“That in this Universe Crocky Crunch doesn’t exist? That would explain a lot actually,” Batman grinned. Nightwing scowled.

“No, _Batman_. I was thinking of the very idea of Robin.” Nightwing pulled out his escrima sticks. Batman didn’t have the luxury of anything that didn’t fit in a utility belt. Instead he pulled out two Bat-a-rangs using them in an X to block the first swing. He kicked Nightwing hard in the gut before the second stroke came sending the younger man back. 

“I seem to remember myself once showing too much leg for the sake of justice.” Batman leaped up and let gravity do the rest. He crashed on top of Nightwing’s shoulders. Nightwing grunted and went down, but he quickly rolled forward out of Batman’s space. 

“I never showed my legs for the sake of justice,” Nightwing snickered, “Where is it you came from again? The stripper-verse?” 

Batman laughed as well, “You should have seen Aqualad,” He threw a bat-a-rang, Nightwing predicted it and dodged with a perfect backwards flip. It was interesting seeing his own movements from an outside perspective. 

“There never should have _been_ Robin after us.” 

Batman blocked a strike. He had the advantage in a grapple, but Nightwing was too fast to pin. Did he really have this much energy at that age? 

“Jason,” Batman guessed.

“Jason and Tim,” Nightwing growled. He shot forward hitting Batman hard in the shoulder with his weapon, “And Damian!” The last he shouted. He threw Batman back. Batman tumbled. He caught the edge before he fell and quickly pulled himself back up. Nightwing didn’t try to press his advantage, he backed away giving them distance, room. 

“Don’t you understand?” Nightwing tore off his own mask. They met each other’s eyes. Perfect matching shades of blue. The younger was struck by how the older looked like his father. The older was struck by how the younger didn’t even look like himself anymore. Not with that tortured expression. 

Batman held his position. He didn’t attack. 

“Explain it to me… Dick.” 

“We were exceptional,” The younger Dick Grayson whispered. “You of all people know I’m not bragging when I say we were trained by the best acrobats in the world from the time we were born. Jason was a hurt young teen on the street with no prospects. Batman took a normal teenage boy in and put him under fire. Robin’s meant to draw attention with red, green and yellow. Robin’s meant to be the diversion. Everyone’s eyes are on the little show-off. Robin needs to be better because that’s where the bullets are going to be aimed. Jason wasn’t better. He was angry and undisciplined. He had a big heart he was a good kid, but he was _only_ a kid. The arrogance of Bruce, thinking he could just replace us and that his training would balance it out. If he wanted to save Jason he should have taken him in and never told him about Batman and Robin. He practically shoved the kid out in our old costume for the entire world to see. Jason died because Bruce didn’t want to be alone in the dark again.”

“Yeah, but he came back,” The older man said gently.

“What about Tim?” The younger Dick asked bitterly, “He used to be this bright kid with a million prospects. A genius, an athlete and the best part? He had parents who love him. Bruce saw the dangerous game that kid was playing. He said no, he didn’t want another Robin. That’s great Bruce, but did you think maybe he might be a bit more tenacious than that? Bruce failed to protect him. Tim’s parents are alive, but now he can never see them again. What’s worse, after that he lets him be Red Robin anyway! The amount of trauma that kid has faced since then and he’s only seventeen! I don’t even remember the last time I saw him smile.” 

The older Dick Grayson sighed, “They’re not alive in my universe.”

“What?”

“His parents, they died. Tim’s an orphan.” 

“And was that Batman’s fault?”

“…indirectly,” He admitted. 

“And Damian—” 

“You’re missing one.”

“No I’m not.”

“Steph.” 

“Who?”

Batman opened his mouth in surprise. “No Stephanie?” 

“…No?”

“And what about Cass, she wasn’t Robin, but—”

The younger shook his head. 

Batman looked away for a moment, then looked back at Nightwing.

“Maybe they weren’t our equals when they started, but these peoples’ skills can’t be thrown away. They grew. Jason wasn’t just a mistake. He had the potential and Bruce saw that. And look at Jason now. He’s given it a good try at kicking our asses. He’s come pretty close to succeeding a few times. Batman didn’t kill Jason, the Joker did. The Joker used Jason’s past. If it had been our mother do you think for one second we would have hesitated? We would have gone, we would have come alone, if it was her, if there was a chance? It would have been us in the same position. And Tim? Maybe our Tims are different, but yeah they both sought out this life. They saw there was a hole that needed filling. My Tim lost a lot, but he’s gained a family and I’m not just talking about Bruce and us. He has friends and loved ones and he’s living his life the way he chose to live and he’s been able to move past his tragedies. Steph? You don’t know her, but she’s special. She’s that little sister that’s always underfoot until she she’s suddenly in front of you a human shield in front of the bullies her hands on her hips telling them not to _touch_ her brothers and friends. She found her place with us, she proved herself as one of us. And Cass? She’s our sister, Bruce adopted her. She’s not motivated to fight crime because of personal tragedy. No one orphaned her. She’s making up for her mistakes. She’s redeeming herself and I think she values life more than a lot of so called ‘Superheroes’ out there do. Maybe you can argue about Jason and Tim and how ‘suited’ they were to wear the red, green, and yellow, but Damian is exceptional too. He’d kick our ten-year-old ass in a second. He’s better than—”

“Damian’s dead.” 

Batman stopped, absolutely stopped. He stared at Nightwing, finally noticed. There were angry tears in the younger man’s eyes.

“No, that’s not—”

“Damian’s dead,” Nightwing repeated. “I left the cowl behind me, I left him with Bruce and I was _relieved_. I was so happy that I hadn’t messed it up, you know? Bruce went back to being Batman and Damian became his Robin. I thought that was better. Bruce would be able to do a better job with him than I would. Bruce would be able to teach him and protect him. Bruce was better than me so I wouldn’t have to worry. I wouldn’t have to wake up from nightmares about Damian’s dead body next to my parents knowing it was my fault. Did you have those dreams?”

“—I…I still have those dreams,” Batman said reluctantly. He was suddenly glad he told Damian not to come. It was better his partner wasn’t here to see this. He understood now. This Dick Grayson was broken. 

“You sound like you have a lot of people around you Dick,” The younger man said with soft envy. “Lots of family. Lots of friends too I bet. Who else do you have that I don’t? Donna? Wally?” 

Batman looked like he had been slapped in the face. “They… they came back to me.” 

Nightwing gave a small cry of agonizing pain, “I’ve had to move on!” He was shouting now, “I’ve had to keep moving forward. My parents, my friends. All of them are dead. Wally’s gone, Donna’s gone, Garth’s gone. The Joker destroyed Haly’s circus, but that’s okay, they wanted to turn me into a monster anyway! Jason’s off battling aliens or demons with my Ex and Roy Harper. Tim never speaks with me unless it involves work. Damian was all I had and Bruce couldn’t protect him. He couldn’t stop Damian from killing Nobody and he couldn’t stop me from killing him! I killed Batman!!! Do you understand? I killed him!” 

Batman closed his eyes and bowed his head.

Nightwing started to approach angrily, “So go on _Dick_. You’re me, aren’t you? Older, wiser me that has _everything_. Go ahead and judge me! Tell me where I went wrong. Tell me how I can redeem myself like your Cassandra. Tell me how I can be brave like your Stephanie.” 

They were only a few feet apart. Nightwing was breathing angrily. Batman wasn’t breathing at all. 

“Tell me how I can live without them?” 

Batman stepped forward and swept the younger man into a hug. Nightwing choked back a sob of surprise.

“I’m sorry.” 

“I killed Bruce,” Dick cracked. Batman felt his tears soaking into his shoulder. “I killed him and it wasn’t an accident. I killed him because he would have stopped me. Jason was right, he was always right. We have to kill them to stop them, but Jason didn’t realize—or maybe he didn’t want to go so far. Can you imagine? Jason Todd not going far enough? But it’s true. Do you understand yet? You have to kill Batman if you want to kill the monsters Dick because Batman protected them too.” He was shaking. “Look, look. I saved Gotham. There’s no more masked freaks. Two-Face is gone, Scarecrow, Mad Hatter, Mr. Freeze, Dr. Strange, Poison Ivy, Victor Zsasz, Firefly, Professor Pig, the Joker!! I killed them and they didn’t come back. They’re like us and you know what?” Nightwing looked up desperately. Batman held him hard by the shoulder meeting his eyes. 

“It was easy,” He whispered brokenly. 

Batman pulled him back into his embrace. 

“I had to kill Batman so that I could finally finish his mission. He was right. Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot. Mass-murderers and mobsters don’t live here in Gotham anymore. Nightwing is the man who killed Batman and then he became a Monster Slayer. Now there’s only one more monster left.” 

Batman held him more tightly.

“Don’t.” 

“I deserve it.”

Batman chuckled sadly, “No. You’re a messed up twenty-two year-old that had everything taken away from him. You took too much in return. Way too much. You’ve destroyed a lot of lives, Dick. You became one of them. One of the people you swore you would never be.”

“I know.”

“And you can’t take that back and I can’t give you absolution for it.”

“I don’t want to be forgiven. I just want to die.”

“But don’t you think he deserves justice?”

“Who?”

“Bruce. Don’t you owe it to him? Don’t you owe it to yourself?” 

“If I turn myself in Tim will—”

“Dick Grayson murdered Bruce Wayne. That’s all you have to tell them.” 

“I killed the others.”

“Yeah, you did and you’re going to have to live with that, but Dick, you crossed the line the least you can do is do things his way now. He wouldn’t want you to die.” 

“I killed him.”

“And you know what?” Batman pulled back and smiled kindly, “He would be more disappointed in himself than with you. I mean, seriously? Death by Nightwing?” 

“…”

“He would be you know.”

The two jerked staring into the shadows. Another Batman stepped into the light. Nightwing was shaking. His eyes squeezed shut.

“No, no, no, no.” 

“He would,” Bruce Wayne repeated letting his cowl fall back. Robin perched above them looking down with a grim face. “He would be disappointed in himself because he didn’t save you from this,” Bruce carefully stepped forward. The older Dick Grayson stepped away. Nightwing stood and faced his father who wasn’t really his father. Bruce gently reached out and took the young man by the shoulder. Dick kept shaking his head. “He should have saved you from this, Dick.”

Nightwing collapsed against him.

“I’m so sorry Bruce, I’m so sorry. Please, I’m so sorry. I just…I’m so sorry,” He sobbed. Bruce held him. The older Dick looked on. Bruce’s eyes were downcast with regret. He glanced up at _his_ Dick Grayson. He looked so damn thankful. 

_I asked him if he ever felt **pride** about what he did. He didn’t. He said, “What I do to people—even when the **long-term** results are positive…I’m not proud about it at all.” Then he stopped for a second and said… “The only time I ever feel pride is when I look at Nightwing. Sometimes I think he’s the only thing I ever did right.”_

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sort of sub fill for katemonsterx3. I think this would probably have been the ending of your proposed idea. Sorry I couldn't do the whole thing. Maybe one day. 
> 
>  
> 
> Quote at the end from JLA #73


End file.
